Grey

You wake up one morning and take your first conscious breath… The air around you seems different; it’s something you cannot explain. You reflect upon the year that has passed and everything you went through; all the laughs, tears, excitement, make-ups and break-ups and normal shit like that. You think deeper, about how much you've grown… Now, as the year comes to a close, I realized that I am free in ways many can never be.

I made my choices, I've accepted the uncertainty of life, the deranged propaganda that clouds this world blinding it, keeping it caged to a degree of helplessness and dependence and out of that more and more propaganda is born to back up the already existing ones. I've seen and heard people talk about their vivid fantasies of bravery and peace… of how the world should have been and how it will be. I realized that whatever happens, this is reality! Murder, theft, white-collared slavery, rape, the very fact that people put on the mask of an angel while their deeds are that of the devil, poverty, war are just a part of the only existing reality we have left. It will be as long as we give more importance to fashion and growing trends while people sleep homeless on the footpaths with just what I’d barely call a cloth to cover themselves from the cold concrete beneath them. We build skyscrapers while people live and die on the roads. We obsess over ourselves, over our own self-glorification and about how “awesome” or how “smart” we are while some people don’t even get a basic education. This is reality and not what you see in the mirror or in your brands.

People only look at their worlds in black and white, opposites, while completely ignore the significance of detachment or living in grey. Some even call it “less exciting” or “boring”. So I am to assume that the complexities that arise out of bipolarity, opposites and the other emotional garbage that humans create are exciting? What exactly is exciting about it; War or the masked dictatorship of politicians under a visage of democracy? What I see are a bunch of hungry dogs fighting over money and land and eventually they will eat each other out.

This world of doubt, people, their misery, their thoughts and actions, their double standards, their dualities, their emotional garbage with all their attachments mean nothing to me now…. They have far outgrown their purpose. I do not care about this world anymore. 

Dependence?

Sitting and daydreaming in class while randomly lending an ear to the lecturer occasionally is an integrated part of every student’s life. The occasional interest often arises only if the topic being discussed is of any value or if it is familiar to the listener. When you suddenly get back to reality after swaying over the lush greenery of some countryside fantasy, you hear your lecturer talk about how humans are bound to “material gains” based on the pleasure principle of hedonism. Then you hear them talk about how important “spirituality” is and how it must come first. Then you really begin to think about it…

Does spirituality or rather spiritual and mental gratification depend on material wealth? Is one higher than the other or are they dependent on each other? In my honest opinion, there can be no spiritual or mental development or gratification without material gains or wealth. One has to know the material to differentiate it from the spiritual. Our physical needs such as food, water, shelter, clothing, etc must be satisfied before our spiritual or mental needs are sated. One’s body requires material wealth to survive… without the survival of the body there won’t be a spiritual or mental entity as well. Even our emotions are controlled by our needs.

Isn’t it funny? Knowing how wrong we are when we talk about how necessary spiritual development is and how we shun material wealth when we see it in the hands of another. We deny it of its worth and purpose. We fail to see how necessary materials really are… even the basics. What we need to keep in mind is balance and satisfaction… the rest will follow in due time.