Revelation

Months passed, probably years. I held onto things like my skills, my perception and my patterns of thought that set me apart from the vermin that infest this planet… All this time clinging onto them, using them as a defense mechanism to lift myself up whenever I fell. It took me so long to build them, all my codes of conduct, the very principles that I laid my life on, all the rules I made that governed my very existence shattered, broken in a single illusionary moment that has now made me lose my purpose, my insight. I tore the very wings that made me look up to myself as a God, slowly crumbling and falling down to become something so common, losing everything that set me apart from the germs that fester this pathetic world. I failed myself. A friend told me, “Thats what I kept tellin u b4. Stick to ur promise man, if u don’t hav any worth by following it, then people around u will treat u like shit coz then u turn out to b all talk and no walk.” Even now I look for ways to mask my obscenity. Every time I faced a crisis I made myself a new mask. I put on so many faces that I barely remember which one was mine to begin with. I’m still thinking of even one thing that made me feel like a God and my mind falls into a void. Nothing is the answer. I stooped to even feeling and thinking like the common man would and now look where that got me. When I look around at the worms that surround me, they seem so far ahead. I lost everything in the moments that occurred over time, losing myself a little by little while gaining nothing more. Now I’m like a blank slate that stays still. People will walk in, paint what they want to and erase it off. My existence as it seems now is rather futile. Every inch of whatever I thought I would be has slipped away. Everything I lived by but one. The only thing that remained consistent in all the phases I endured and this my word, even if it is the last promise I’ll ever utter, I will never let it go.